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There is a song that is sung with lyrics that say, “Count your blessings, name them one by one and see what God has done.” This is so true, if we’ll just take a moment to assess how good He’s been to each of us, particularly in our marriages. Without God in the midst of our marriage relationship we are aimlessly drifting through life like “the man in a boat without an oar.”

A successful marriage is not an accident waiting to happen. It is one where two people have made a decision to do it God’s way and not their own. For so long, man has tried to find success without God in his everyday comings and goings. That same mentality has manifested itself in the marriage relationship. Jeremiah 10: 23 states, “O Lord, I know that the way of man is not in himself: it is not in man that walketh to direct his steps.” Thus we need God’s guidance and direction to have a successful marriage.

Two Working Together as One
Marriage is truly a wonderful arrangement when we get “self” out of the way. Have you noticed how sometimes we think we have all of the answers in our relationship, and our spouse should just be thankful to be along for the ride? Well, this frame of mind has never been a part of God’s plan for marriage. Genesis 2:18 identifies God’s plan. “And the Lord God said, it is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a help meet (helper comparable to him) for him.” So we see that God’s plan has both the husband and the wife working together as a team, and not two separate entities. Amos 3:3 poses a powerful question. “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?” Thus, a husband and a wife must recognize that in order for there to be success in their marriage they must work as a team in order to become joint heirs of the promises of God.

The Promises of God
God has always stated in His word that He would never leave us nor forsake (Hebrews 13:5). What greater assurance is needed in our marriage relationship? God is always there as an anchor to steady our ship when the seas get rough. We must be willing to hold on to God’s promise to be there. We know storms will come our way, but they can be overcome with both the husband and the wife working together as one unit. It is paramount that each couple makes a commitment to God and to each other to endure even when things don’t look too good! Make Ephesians 3:20 your point of reference as it speaks to the fact that God is “…able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us…”

Commitment Must Be in the Pudding
Without commitment, there is no substance to that which we speak or do. Commitment requires dedication, energy, and most of all total involvement. In a marriage relationship both husband and wife must be willing to put forth a genuine effort to make the marriage be all that it should. Lukewarm enthusiasm just won’t get the job done. The scriptures bear this out in Revelations 3: 15-16 when God speaks these words, “I know thy works, that thou art neither cold nor hot: I would thou wert cold or hot. So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spew thee out of my mouth.” Commitment is everything to God, and thus commitment in the marriage relationship is a must.

Commitment is demonstrated in our marriage relationship when we focus in on the needs of each other. Dr. Willard F. Harley, Jr., author of the book His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage, talks about meeting the emotional needs of one another. When a couple is able to identify the emotional needs of one another and begins to strive towards meeting those needs, they are demonstrating their commitment to each other.